1. Who Runs The World? OMO NAIJA!
We did it. We actually WON the African Cup of Nations! Personally I’m also celebrating something else too…lower blood pressure, less inclination to be violent, an exponential decrease in the threat of an early death, and less of the three D’s personally so often synonymous with the mention of Nigerian sports teams these days; Dismay, Despair and Disappointment. WE SHON BRAI LIKE A DIAMON! It was definitely one of the most stressful 90 minutes I’ve endured in 2013. Especially when one poor fellow had a pretty much clear shot on the goal with the ball within his reach, and decided to trip over air. Yes air. No one was there and he fell down. The alternative explanation is Juju (witchcraft), but I think we blame Juju too much for things. He fell down like a giraffe and kept on rolling like a hamster in a wheel. No matter. We still won, and it felt like vindication. Vindication from perpetual abuse from one of our nearest neighbours (who will remain unnamed but were sent packing earlier GMG style earlier in the competition by our opponents). Vindication from years of mockery regarding a certain penal code which follows us like a pungent fart wherever we go. Vindication from years of team mismanagement, tomfoolery and bad attitude to national sport. I am so proud, and I implore every fellow Nigerian to MILK this till AFCON 2015.