A Drive-By

This post is literally what it says on the tin. I’ve been busy recently and I haven’t really had time to structure a new post in my usual way, but I still wanted to share a few unsophisticated thoughts, observances and small small shade.

Area one : Life-changing realisation

My ‘life-changing’ realisation is the beauty and importance of quality time with yourself in silence. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately by technology to the point it was making me irritable, not because I resented those I was communicating with, rather the method we were using. I began to feel like a crack addict who desperately wants to give it all up but doesn’t know how. I realised that I didn’t even know how to sit in silence without a computer on, show playing, phone pinging/ringing for more than a few minutes. I’d start reading a book, but then I’d be checking my phone, then I’d get into a conversation, and the time I had appointed for book reading alone would be swallowed up before I knew it. Frustration central. So…I decided to start to let some calls go to voicemail, reply to messages later when I felt like it, and not monitor my social media channels so doggedly. Moral of the story is, I was able to expand myself in other areas, I mentally felt better and uplifted, and I was able to enjoy and cherish silence. The peace of it all helped me counteract the negative energy I sometimes had due to feeling like I had no time to think for myself, which at times was developing into muted anxiety. My advice to everyone is to cultivate the habit of regular time-outs for yourself. And learn how to say ‘no’ when you’re overloaded. Your mental state will thank you for it.

Area two : Observation

This isn’t referring to a particular subject matter as such, but I’ve noticed that if you profess to be an expert on something and you don’t have the t-shirt, the medal, AND the professional qualifications to back what you’re saying up, it counts as doggy doo doo to most people. I personally believe that one can offer advice about situations they haven’t been in, but if you step into the realm of a leader in advice in those areas, just know that your critics will get turnt all the way up. That’s why I don’t offer my opinion on certain things unless I am asked, and even then, I do it with such trepidation I probably shouldn’t even bother. See the thing is, even though you may be right, if you haven’t got the credentials nor the test cases to prove it, you’re better off praying for people as opposed to advising them. Scorn is real. Just my two cents.

Area three : Shade

I think if you asked most people, they’d say the best social media platform for shade is probably twitter with its potential to spread rapidly and catastrophically. But instagram has been coppin’ a feel too lately.

If you’re a black female them I’m sure you’ve noticed the fair amount of traction the natural hair movement has been getting. In what I guess may have been an attempt at solidarity, some black female celebs have been showing off their natural manes to show how “protective styles” (more often than not this means wearing a weave) can facilitate that goldilocks hair growth. If only they knew who they were dealing with. Poor Gabriel Union found out on her instagram. I’ll let the picture and the shade do the talking:

Screen Shot 2014-02-23 at 14.00.05Caption*sings “shade time” to Hammer time*

Gabby Shade

And my personal favourite:

Screen Shot 2014-02-23 at 14.14.47

Yup. I was like:

After I had finished simultaneously despairing and laughing, I realised that there were some women defending Gabby and criticising the haters:

Defendersbut…I’m sorry to say that for this particular instagram snap, it was Shaders 1, Gabby (and #TeamGabby) -2.

Till the next time folks.

Yours Truly



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